hello hello 姐姐!
This post is long overdue but better late than never right? Time to reflect on the year that was 2018.
2018 truly flew by faster than any year before. I’m in my second semester of third year now (please pause to freak out) and I still feel as though I just stepped foot onto campus. I still remember how excited and nervous I was to start a new page in my book just two and a half years ago. I was so naive and full of unrelenting energy then. But at the same time, I feel as though I have been here in Hamilton forever.
This past year I realized how much university has changed me. I have become more independent and opinionated. I have discovered where my weaknesses lie and struggled to trust in my strengths. And, I have met and become friends with some of the most amazing people with whom I have created memories that I will cherish forever.
However, even through all this, I worry that I have lost my way. I am no longer the certain, determined girl who flew across the country to start on a new path, in a new city, with a big goal, and a heart full of confidence in reaching the seemingly impossible.
This past year, was a wake up call, a slap in the face. I hadn’t realized that my dream had been slowly drifting further and further out of reach.
Through first and second year, I was filled with the hope that I could reach my goal as long as I worked hard and stayed focused and disciplined. Three skills that I always prided myself in having. But this past year, barriers once hidden have revealed themselves.
These skills that had been firmly in my pockets throughout my competitive skating career seemed to have slowly been leaking out. There are days when I can’t seem to focus for more than 10 minutes and there are days when I can’t seem to be motivated to do anything. This terrifies me.
But, here we are, 2019. It’s a new year and we’re going to try to turn it around.
I don’t like the idea of “resolutions” because it drags the failures of the past with you into the future. A resolution is a commitment to not make the same mistake as before. I would rather make some promises to myself. Although I won’t be sharing all the promises I’ve made, here is one simple one:
I promise to be kind to myself and to enjoy the journey to an unknown. To live in the present and to appreciate the unknown of the future instead of being scared of it.
Whoop-dee-doo, there you go. When life gives you lemons, make a lemon tart to brighten your day and to start the new year off right. Cheers to 2019!
Tarte au Citron
Minimally adapted from the amazing David Lebovitz
- 85g unsalted butter, cut into pieces
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
- 3 tablespoons water
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 1/8 teaspoon salt
- 160g (1 heaping cup) flour
- Preheat oven to 410F.
- Combine butter, oil, water, sugar and salt in a oven safe bowl. Place bowl in preheated oven for about 10-15 min or until butter is bubbling and starting to brown around the edges.
- Remove bowl from oven and dump in flour. Stir quickly until a soft dough forms.
- Transfer dough onto a 9 in tart shell. Using a spatula or a spoon, gently spread the dough in the tart shell. Reserve a small amount to fill in any cracks later. Once cool enough to touch, use the heel of your palm to press firmly into the pan and your fingers to spread dough up the sides of the pan. Pierce pastry with a fork a few times.
- Bake for 15 min until the crust is golden brown. Remove from oven and patch any major cracks with the reserved dough. Let cool.
Lemon curd filling
- 1 cup lemon juice (about 4-5 lemons)
- zest of two lemons
- 1/2 cup of sugar
- 170g butter
- 4 large eggs
- 4 egg yolks
- Preheat oven to 350F
- Place all ingredients in a medium saucepan. Stir until butter is melted, then whisk continuously until the mixture is thickened so that a when lifted and dropped back down, a visible mound of curd remains. This happens fairly quickly so do not leave the curd unattended.
- Pour curd into a mesh strainer over the cooled tart shell, using a spoon to help press the curd through. This removes any chunks of scrambled egg that may have cooked during the process.
- Smooth over the curd and bake for 8 min until the curd just sets.
- Remove from oven and let cool completely. Slice and enjoy!